I try hard not to let grief swallow me up. Ever since I had several family members pass away, I have had issues with grief. It is something my family is very cognizant of. While I appreciate their tenderness in dealing with me, I want to show strength. I want to show support. I want to emulate the grace that my mother holds for our whole family.
Since becoming a mother almost four years ago, I have become stronger. I pray now more than ever to be an example to my family and our children on how to send strength to our family that needs it most. My cousins, my aunt.
Last night I got a message from my mother and when I read it, something ticked in me about our family. We are SO BLESSED to have one another. We are closer than most families. Always picking up where we left off. I know that this tragedy unfolding will pull us down emotionally, but will pull us together closer than ever in the process.
Last night I got a message from my mother and when I read it, something ticked in me about our family. We are SO BLESSED to have one another. We are closer than most families. Always picking up where we left off. I know that this tragedy unfolding will pull us down emotionally, but will pull us together closer than ever in the process.
These prayers are for my family. We all need them now more than ever.
2 comments:
Alexa, I can understand how you feel. I am prone to depression, in fact for many years I took medication to help with this problem. When I became pregnant with Logan, the medication I was on wasn't healthy, so my doctor was going to switch me to a new one. Being my first pregnancy and with all the books and articles I read...I opted to not take any medicine because I didn't want it to harm my child. This, as you know, could also be dangerous because stopping any medication cold turkey can do some pretty crazy things to you. I opened up to JR and to my Nanny, who both watched my behavior for any signs of distress, and I started going to therapy. This isn't something I share with many people, because even now, I see it as a weakness...something wrong with me. I know that isn't the case, my brain just works differently than others. Anyway, that decision changed my life...something about being pregnant opened me up. While I still struggle with depression, it has never gotten as bad as it was before having kids, and since the day I gave up the medicine, I have not taken it since. My point is that I know what its like to feel swallowed up. I know what its like to feel weak, but to want so badly to be strong. I also know what the power of prayer and the Glory of God can do, so with that said. I will pray for you, for strength and courage. I will pray for your family for whatever it is they are going through, and I will say that no matter what, remember that God has a plan. Sometimes he calls us home earlier than our family members would like. Sometimes I have a hard time with this, but ultimately I have to remember not to question God's will. They is a reason and purpose for all things. Continue to pray, and I believe you will find the strength you need to get through this. Praise God in all things big or small, happy or sad, and you will reap the rewards. I read your blog yesterday, and I feel the same way, I dont go to church every week, but I know my God. I know his grace and his forgiveness, and his love. I dont need to preach to people, and I dont need to go to church 3 times a week to know that he hears me and answers my prayers. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Amazing words Sara, thank you so much.
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